Neurodivergence, Chronic Illness, and What the Therapeutic Space Has to Get Right

I sat down with Dr. Heather Olivier — licensed professional counselor, supervisor, assistant professor, and the first person in her field to receive the two highest national research awards from both NBCC and ACES simultaneously — to talk about something that doesn't get nearly enough airtime: what happens when neurodivergence and chronic illness overlap, and what that means for the therapeutic relationship.

Heather brings both her clinical expertise and her own lived experience to this work. That combination makes her one of the most thoughtful clinicians I've talked to about what it actually means to create a space where people feel safe enough to show up fully — diagnosis and all.

This one's for the chronically ill people who've felt misunderstood. And for the clinicians trying to do better.

The Misdiagnosis Problem Nobody's Talking About

One of the first things Heather brought up was the pattern she kept seeing in her practice: women coming in with diagnoses that didn't quite fit. Bipolar. Borderline. Labels that were close enough to explain some symptoms, but not accurate enough to actually help.

What she was actually seeing? ADHD and/or autism — specifically in women — combined with PMDD.

Here's why that matters: Autism and ADHD in women often don’t look like the textbook hyperactive little boy we've all been conditioned to picture. The hyperactivity is internal. The "good" student who was quiet in class but internally unraveling. The person who grows into an adult dealing with anxiety, eating disorders, and emotional dysregulation that only shows up in very specific windows — like the week before a menstrual cycle.

That window looks a lot like mania if you don't know what you're looking for.

And when the diagnosis doesn't fit, the whole treatment plan doesn't fit either.

What I keep thinking about is how many people are out there chasing root causes — going down functional medicine rabbit holes, trying protocol after protocol — when what they actually need is a more accurate map of their own nervous system. Not because those tools are wrong, but because without the right diagnostic picture, you're solving for the wrong problem.

The Connection Between Neurodivergence and Chronic Illness

This is where the conversation got really interesting to me. The overlap is significant — and it's not fully understood yet.

We know that prolonged stress and trauma create a cascade of biological events. Elevated cortisol over time. Nervous system dysregulation. And eventually, in some people, the development of chronic conditions. But here's what makes this complicated: two people can go through the same experience and one will develop a chronic illness and one won't. That's where genetics, heritability, and individual biology enter the picture — and where simple "stress caused your illness" narratives fall apart.

People are learning about their neurodivergence and their health vulnerabilities at the same time, often in the middle of one of the hardest experiences of their lives. This is exactly the kind of complexity that gets missed when clinicians don't have a framework for holding all of it at once.

What a Neurodivergent Therapist Actually Looks Like in Session

Here's something Heather said that I want every clinician to sit with: if you're uncomfortable in your own body during a session — if you're in pain, if you're managing blood pooling in your feet because you have POTS, if you're hyperaware of a flickering fluorescent light — you've already checked out of the room.

The accommodation you make for yourself isn't just for you. It's for the process.

Heather described what this looks like practically:

  • Crossing her legs in session — not "bad body language," but a physical accommodation for hypermobility and POTS

  • Keeping a notebook nearby — because jotting things down helps her stay present, not because she's disengaged

  • Adjusting her lighting — lamps instead of fluorescent lights, because for her, a flickering bulb isn't a minor annoyance, it's a physical experience that takes over the right side of her face

  • Blocking off certain hours — not scheduling anything during her energy dip window, because pushing through doesn't make her more productive, it makes her less effective for hours afterward

  • Naming her process upfront — telling people at intake that if she isn't making eye contact, it's because she's so tuned in that masking isn't even on her radar in that moment

That last one is one I relate to deeply. When I shift my eyes to the left in a conversation, I'm actually concentrating. I'm not checked out. But without that context, it reads wrong — and the work it takes to perform "normal attentiveness" actually pulls me away from the conversation.

When Heather names these things at the start, something important happens: the other person's nervous system gets to stop treating it as a threat.

Brainspotting, Chronic Pain, and the Body's Filing Cabinet

Heather came to brainspotting as a client first — after losing her precious baby. And she described something I think a lot of chronically ill people will recognize: the split between what you're physically feeling and what you're emotionally allowed to feel about it.

Brainspotting works with the idea that our eyes find spots that correspond to where specific experiences are stored in the brain and body. When you're telling someone about something distressing, you naturally look away and then return — because you can only tolerate so much processing at once. Brainspotting says: what if we stayed in that spot a little longer?

For people with chronic illness, Heather frames it this way. Imagine your central nervous system is a filing cabinet. There's a drawer labeled "comfortable." One labeled "uncomfortable but tolerable." And one labeled "uncomfortable and intolerable." A lot of people with chronic conditions have entire drawers they've never opened — not because they're unaware something's there, but because opening it would mean fully feeling it.

And fully feeling it feels impossible when you still have to function.

What brainspotting can do — and what Heather does with it in her practice — is help bridge the gap between this is how my body feels and this is how I'm allowed to feel. When those two things get validated together, the emotional weight of the physical experience starts to shift.

In this conversation, we also made a point I want to name clearly: not everyone with chronic illness is shut off from their body. Some people are on high alert — hyperaware of every sensation, exhausted by the constant scanning. Even then, there's usually something underneath that the hypervigilance is protecting. Brainspotting can help figure out what that is — and when it does, the overactive response often quiets on its own.

An Inclusive Space for One Is an Inclusive Space for All

Heather said this at the end of our conversation, and it’s so poignant.

The accommodations we're talking about — softer lighting, flexible seating, explaining the "why" behind a request, adjusting communication style — aren't just for neurodivergent people or people with chronic illness. They're just better practices.

When we stop treating neurotypical norms as the default that everyone else has to stretch toward, everyone gets more room to be present. The clinician. The person in the chair. The student in the classroom. The patient in the exam room.

That's the whole point of Relational Cultural Theory, which Heather practices: we are built for connection. The therapeutic alliance itself is the biggest catalyst for change. All the beautiful tools in the world won't work if the relationship isn't there first.

So whether you're a clinician trying to create a more inclusive space, or someone with chronic illness trying to figure out why you keep walking away from appointments feeling worse — this episode is worth a listen.

Because the relationship you have with your own body, your own diagnosis, and the people walking alongside you matters more than we give it credit for.

This blog post is based on an interview with Dr. Heather Olivier on The Chronic Illness Therapist Podcast.For more resources on navigating healthcare challenges, subscribe to our newsletter and follow us on social media.

If you're a therapist or clinician working with neurodivergent or chronically ill clients and wondering how to hold all of this complexity at once — we're covering exactly that at the Chronic Illness Therapist Conference on March 6th and 7th in Atlanta (and virtually).

Register here for 13 specialized CE hours you won't find anywhere else. Your chronic illness clients deserve more than 'listen to your body' - and so do you.

Disclaimer: Everything we discuss here is just meant to be general education and information. It's not intended as personal mental health or medical advice. If you have any questions related to your unique circumstances, please contact a licensed therapist or medical professional in your state of residence.

Destiny Davis, LPC CRC, is solely responsible for the content of this article. The views expressed herein may or may not necessarily reflect the opinions of the guest.

The content in this blog post comes directly from a real, human interview between Destiny and her guest on The Chronic Illness Therapist Podcast. This written version was formatted using AI. Listen to the full episode to hear the actual conversation.

Listen to my full conversation with Dr. Heather Olivier on Ep 119: Neurodivergence, Chronic Illness, and What the Therapeutic Space Has to Get Right

Listen on Apple

Listen on Spotify

 
Podcast cover art for "The Chronic Illness Therapist Podcast with Destiny Davis, LPC CRC

Listen to Dr. Heather’s interview with me, Destiny Davis, on Ep 119: Neurodivergence, Chronic Illness, and What the Therapeutic Space Has to Get Right

Listen on Apple

Listen on Spotify


Close-up portrait of Dr. Heather Olivier, Licensed Professional Counselor and supervisor, smiling in a plaid blazer and wearing black-rimmed glasses

Dr. Heather Olivier is a licensed professional counselor and supervisor specializing in working with neurodivergent clients and psychosomatic presentations of traumatic loss. In addition to owning her private practice, Olivier Counseling and Consulting, she is an assistant professor of counseling at Southeastern Louisiana University with a focus on creating inclusive curriculum design for neurodivergent students and faculty. Dr. Olivier’s research regarding perinatal loss has received state and national recognition, and she is the first person in her field to ever receive the two highest national research awards given by the National Board for Certified Counselors and the Association for Counselor Education and Supervision. Heather regularly presents nationally and internationally to interdisciplinary audiences on neurodiversity, patient and practitioner wellness, and cultural stigma impacting trauma.

Connect with Dr. Heather:

LinkedIn


Destiny Davis, LPC CRC, smiling in a pink sweater standing outdoors with crossed arms

Meet Destiny - The host of The Chronic Illness Therapist Podcast and a licensed mental health therapist in the states of Georgia and Florida. Destiny offers traditional 50-minute therapy sessions as well as therapy intensives and monthly online workshops for the chronic illness community.

Previous
Previous

The Wellness Trap: Rethinking Chronic Illness, Healing, and Accessibility with Grace Quantock

Next
Next

Navigating Relationships When Chronic Illness Changes Everything